Money see, monkey do

After sum 1 does something, why do we feel the urge to do so? It's so stupid, but I'm a victim of it. I hate it. It's just not me..... I wish I could stop it. Like many things, it suck. I feel soo dark on the inside, but im not mad. Is it my concious trying to make me emo or goth or something? I feel safe, but sad. Like I lost everything else I lived for... Everything I urned for.